God whispers…

He whispered to me this morning.

I have been meditating frequently regarding the recent death of a singer. Years ago, this singer experienced an illness that kept her from performing. She was severely depressed because what brought her joy was singing and bringing joy to others.

I understand her feelings more now than ever.

When I was in Asia, it brought me great joy to orchestrate and complete outreaches and special programs for children in the villages. I also loved planning educational services for children with special needs, and for their parents, who desperately needed help. I don’t know which brought me more joy, the children’s reactions or the revelation of the teachers and other professionals that I trained.

I loved planning, training, and teaching. Each successful event, by the grace of God, fueled me, and the flames grew for me to continue.

Like opening the windows in an old abandoned cabin, confidence and understanding in the children infused the room full of radiance, smiles, and joy both from the children and their teachers.

I equally loved working in the horrific Red-Light district. Women and children learned that someone really cared about them.

Interlaced through that, I would plan and present seminars educating churches in Asia concerning special needs children that were neglected, and ways the audience could be involved in advocacy against human trafficking, even being involved in intervention of human trafficking.

I then did the same in churches and in seminar venues in the U.S. and Canada.

The ministry is something I miss a lot. Not being able to reach out to children in poor villages makes me sad. I miss traveling and speaking and training others. Bringing joy to others would bring joy to me.

Living back in the U.S. for three and a half years, I no longer get to do those ministries for various reasons. I feel the singer’s sadness and loss.

On top of the loss of ministry, I lost three people very close to me…

A counselor and dear friend.

A mentor, advisor, and dear friend.

A sister.

Now, I am a single mom with a special needs son. I have been having major health issues the past couple of years… add to that the accident almost two months ago now that has still left me dealing with the results of the concussion and physical injuries.

This morning as I was thinking about the singer’s death and praying for her family, I started thinking about something I have known for years, but haven’t focused on or practiced daily since my return to this side of the world.

We do not find genuine joy in who we are and what we do. We find authentic, everlasting joy from having salvation and fellowship with Jesus.

We can lose everything and still have everything with Jesus.

Job said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.
Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him” (Job 13:15/NKJV).

Habakkuk believed,

“Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills” (Habakkuk 3:17-19/NKJV).

Even though I am not doing all that I wish, I am content as I am where I am because it is God’s perfect plan for this season of my life. So I hold on to Jesus, regardless of the pain, loss, and tears. I hope to continue to write not only for this blog but also the book, bringing hope and healing to those who feel there is no hope, and nowhere to turn.

When I think of how the Lord has been with me and all that God has provided for me and my son for the past three and a half years… I trust Him and hold on.

You too should trust Him. Amid heartache, health issues, loss, confusion, unanswered questions, and having to wait, and wait, and wait…

Hold on… Jesus is holding you, no matter what you are experiencing.

Hold on to Jesus amid the storms.

Hold on to Jesus even in the losses.

Hold on to Jesus when the waves come crashing down upon you.

Lift those waves of heartbreak into waves of praise.

And then listen… God is whispering to you too.

P.S. A dear friend shared a special song with me the other day. Here are a couple of versions.