“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13/NIV)

     It was a dreary morning, but I didn’t care. I had carved out the day before and this day to add a chapter to the book that the Lord had put on my heart. I needed to bring the book full circle, leading people to the source of my hope. The previous day had been zapped by unplanned, time-consuming errands. I was at peace. I still had today.

     I first had to send an email, the second one, to my doctor’s office. I had seen my doctor just four days before. One of my medical issues decided it didn’t like the medicine controlling it anymore, so it decided to flare up, finally taking my voice out with it. I emphasized in this email how important it was to get the referral to the specialist so that I could drive there and make an appointment, since my voice was gone. The coughing and choking were taking a toll on me. I couldn’t go many more days without sleep, and the weekend was at hand. I was also awakened in the night to the sound of choking and honking from my dog. She had a kennel cough. I sent an urgent email to the veterinarian, who quickly informed me that both her clinics were booked. She encouraged me to try back later in the afternoon. I left those major issues to simmer so I could begin to write.

     Although it was cloudy, it wasn’t too cool to sit outside. I do my best writing listening to the birds and the voice of God. I prayed fervently that God would allow me to finish the chapter so that I could get it to the editor before she returned from her vacation. I still had ten days to work with, but I was determined to finish it on this day, thinking I could use the extra time to begin writing the accompanying devotional to this book I had on my heart. But my mind was blank. I read some more scripture, prayed a little more, read some commentaries… but still… I only felt inspired to write a paragraph.

     I decided to rewatch the powerful podcast I had watched the night before, which I had stumbled across. Pastor Levi Lusko and his wife were interviewing the Christian singer TobyMac (stage name for Kevin Michael McKeehan). I was glued to the screen as he shared about his life, music, and the heartbreaking, accidental death of his 21-year-old son. This interview was six years after his son’s death, but the grief and rawness of his deep pain were still there… but so was his unwavering, determined trust in God. He emphasized that God was good no matter what. Throughout the interview, there were tears, but along with the tears, he expressed great confidence in the Lord. The Luskos were the perfect people to interview him as they too had lost a child. She was only five years old, and it had been thirteen years ago, but deep pain unites hearts despite the years. Toby shared that since his son’s death, he had been drawn closer to God, and how more valuable God’s Word was to him. I’ve heard a hundred times that when Christians have experienced great tragedies, their relationship with the Lord is more intimate. Something nonbelievers can’t comprehend.

     There were many gold nuggets to take away from this podcast, including the importance of joy, …the joy of the LORD is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Not blessings, not spiritual gifts, the joy of the LORD. Toby said every morning, the posture of his heart was focused on God. He sat on the edge of the chair every morning, asking,

“What could God do with this day?” “Don’t lean on your own understanding – get out on the edge and trust God. Walk on water.”

We should all aspire to live each day asking how God wants to use us.

“Only when our greatest love is God, a love that we cannot lose even in death, can we face all things with peace. Grief was not to be eliminated but seasoned and buoyed up with love and hope.” ( John Piper)

     The available hours that I had to write soon disappeared. I sent out two more urgent emails to the veterinarian, and another one to the doctor, hoping that I could pick up my son from school (fifteen minutes from the veterinarian) before the bus did, rush to the vet, and hurry to the specialist’s office, and live happily ever after. I received no response from either one, and with no voice, I couldn’t call and share the urgency. I was frustrated that my plans had not materialized.

     My son arrived home late. I was wiped out by this time, but I wouldn’t forget our weekly Friday after-school trip to get a special dinner. My son had had a good day, and I wouldn’t take that pleasure from him. I had one stop at the grocery store for a few staples, and then we could pick up food, hasten home, and enjoy the evening… so I thought.

     Our choice was a fast-food place closed for a year for a remodel. My son adored their waffle fries and chicken nuggets. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do a drive-through without a way to speak, and the weather had changed from gloomy to gloomy with sprinkles. It was still early; the evening rush had not begun. When we walked in, only a couple of people were in line. I whispered his order and stepped back, waiting. But then, the crowd whooshed in. My autistic son was beginning to get a little edgy as the people behind the counter were setting out orders of food, but people near us were taking the bags. My son began to whimper, so I thought taking him out to the car and then popping back into the restaurant was best. But my son was determined not to leave without food. I got him to the door with some reassurance and extra support. But now it was raining steadily. A kind man opened the door for us, but I needed more pressure to get my son out. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and held up a white tennis shoe, apparently my son had kicked off. By now, people were rushing in, the rain was coming down, but the man holding the door stood patiently. He took the shoe from the other man.

     “Can I help you?”

     “No, we are fine.”

     “No, let me help you.” With that, the man stepped outside, bent down, spoke gently to my son, and put on his tennis shoe… in the rain.

I thanked him, got my son in the car, ran back in, got the food, and made our way home in rush-hour traffic.

     I quickly got my son in the house, put his food on the tray, got the groceries there, made special mushy food for my honking dog, and dropped.  My son was also exhausted by then. He lay on the sofa, and before he could sleep, I rushed to his side and said a prayer. And then I dropped to the floor. My night ended with a bowl of ice cream, an inane movie, and a dog honking in the background.

     When I woke up at 2:30 in the morning, the first thing the Lord put on my mind was the man who had held open the door, gave respect and kindness to my son, and put on his shoe in the rain. I immediately dropped to the floor and repented to the Lord. I had just written a book about giving God waves of praise even in the difficult days. I had, twice in twenty-four hours, listened to a man who had lost a child in an accidental incident; but I missed the light and goodness in my day. I still weep as I write this.

     Joni Eareckson Tada once said, “The best we can hope for in this life is a knothole peek at the shining realities ahead. Yet a glimpse is enough. It’s enough to convince our hearts that whatever sufferings and sorrows currently assail us aren’t worthy of comparison to that which waits over the horizon.”

I spent a few more hours awake reading the Bible, praying, and remembering the day that had just passed. I went to our city’s Facebook page, not positive the man was even a member, but publicly mentioned the incident, thanked him for his kindness, blessed him, and mentioned that there were angels among us. Within thirty minutes of that posting, there were 85 forms of acknowledgements and praises for what the man had done. An hour later, there were 287 gratitude likes and several comments. People had a moment of hope that there was still kindness in the world because of that one man’s unselfish actions. The number of people reacting is now 600 and growing..

“Our world today so desperately hungers for hope, yet uncounted people have almost given up. There is despair and hopelessness on every hand. Let us be faithful in proclaiming the hope that is in Jesus.” (Billy Graham)

Don’t miss the blessings in each day.

Be an angel in disguise to a world desperate for light.