Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law… do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. (Joshua 1:7)
Several weeks ago, I had wanted to share a prayer chart design that I had created. God had been working in my heart for a long time about praying more, and even though there were times that made me pray immediately, there were so many times that I was forgetting to pray more often. Have you ever said, “I’ll pray for you,” and do so once, and then a few days later or a week goes by, and you realize you haven’t prayed again? During that same time, God put a beloved hymn on my heart that I had not heard for years. One morning, I woke and found I was humming it. Living for Jesus, a hymn I adore because of its reminder of our relationship to Jesus and the path He has given us, no matter what the cost was, like other hymns, Take My Life (my life hymn), Have Thine Own Way, Lord, and I Surrender All.
I even had someone help me with the prayer chart format. I’m sad to say, as a former teacher, that I am terrible at drawing or cutting straight lines or formatting precise designs on the computer page! But life gets busy, or I believe now, the enemy was diverting my attention. What put me back on focus? God… and my son. I’ve been doing an insane amount of simplifying by pitching stuff and giving away household items. I’ve only been back in the U.S. for seven years. Where did all this stuff come from?? One day, while my autistic son was recovering from a week-long attack on his damaged kidney, he decided to go through my books while I was busy in the kitchen. My son adores books. He has tons of his own, but occasionally would pick up one of my books and carry it with him throughout the house for several days. Something about the color or the design on the cover would catch his attention. He would lay it down after a while. I would pick it up and put it back on the bookcase. He would go back and take it off the bookcase. It had to be near him while he was playing on the floor. But this time, he didn’t choose one or two books; he took about fifty books. I walked into the living room to find him sitting on the floor with a pile of books surrounding him… he was smiling. I gave up the dream years ago of the books remaining alphabetized by author.
He had been so sick this time that I couldn’t yell at him. I sat on the floor with him and slowly gathered a few books without even stacking them upright in any order. I just put four or five on top of each other and laid them on the shelf. As I was doing that, a piece of paper fell out of one of them. I opened it up to find a prayer that I had written to the Lord years ago. I knew that God was convicting me again, not only to work on the prayer chart I had created but to also follow the steps that he had put on my heart to share with others about writing out prayers to God (more on that later). I confessed my sin for not being obedient and assured Him I would do it as soon as my son fully recovered.
As I write this, it is now October 21st, two weeks later. I haven’t forgotten what I told God I would do, but I let the enemy distract me and voice his opinions in my mind. “But the LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us…” (Psalm 108:8-9). God is most patient and forgiving! Think about it! Someone reminded me that “Even the galaxies are held by the same hands that hold you.” It’s so easy to complain. But not only do we have everything we really need, but we have an eternal home for those of us who have given our lives to Christ.
God has been amazingly working in my heart the past few days through my study time in the morning. He knocked my socks off this morning and put me on my knees. Oh, we have chatted about sin… including worry, being inpatient, not doing what He told me to do (I will update the book progress on the update page). We’ve discussed why chastisement is necessary. Even Charles Spurgeon said, “To be left uncorrected would be a fatal sign… Yet see, the correction is “in measure”: He gives us love without measure, but chastisement “in measure.” It is the measure of wisdom, the measure of sympathy, the measure of love, by which our chastisement is regulated. Far be it from us to rebel against appointments so divine.” But then there are the Divine appointments in my morning study… like this morning.
As a former teacher, I concentrate and focus when it comes to observation. As children in our family, we were told to not speak unless spoken to. I learned a long time ago how to watch body language and facial expressions. I learned to observe the details carefully of my parents and my siblings. That skill became monumental in my abusive marriage. Those who have previously lived in abuse understand that. But that skill became a gift when I began teaching and then as a trainer in South Asia. Sadly, in my older years, I observe too many expressions and body language when people talk to me. I should be just listening to what they are sharing.
However, when it comes to reading devotions, I have this spasmodic disability in page turning. Occasionally, I will turn a page in a devotional and land on the wrong date. I do not pay attention until I’ve finished going through the commentaries and meditating on what I’ve learned. It doesn’t happen too often, so I think of it as God wants me to know a certain message that day. Well, this morning, God had a tremendous message for me that coincided with an error that I made on the 19th.
On October 19th, in a devotional I have by Dr. Charles Stanley, the title was “Triumph Against All Odds.” The key verse was Judges 7:12. Having seen that, I read Judges 6:12. The opening sentence of the devotional was, “Do you need special encouragement today?” Boy, I desperately needed encouragement that day. Judges 6:12 fit that perfectly! “And the Angel of the LORD appeared to him, and said to him, ‘The LORD is with you, you mighty man of valor!” Yes! That’s exactly what I needed. The remaining devotion spoke on how God did not allow Gideon to remain discouraged; Gideon’s boldness was renewed, and so much more. I was pumped up! LORD, (I said), I’m going to move forward with confidence and trust You! LORD, you told Gideon, “Go in this might of yours… Have I not sent you? Surely, I will be with you.” I finished the commentary on the verse, the closing prayer empowered me, and I was set for the day. Then I realized my mistake. I shook it off. It had been a memorable time with the Lord.
Until this morning…
The first thing I do in the morning when I wake up between 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. is, well, grab my coffee and let the dog out, then I pray, and read the verse on the Bible app. I research the commentary on the verse and am usually encouraged by what theologian Matthew Henry has to say about that verse. There is also a 2–5-minute vocal commentary on the app by a pastor or some female Bible teacher. I never listen. My son is sleeping; the last thing I want is for him to disturb my cherished morning time with the Lord. So, after I’ve researched the verse, I read their small written comments on the verse.
This morning’s verse was Judges 6:12. Yes, correct this time… It’s on the app. Check it! But this time, I re-read verse 13 differently “Gideon said to Him, “O my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about, saying, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the LORD has forsaken us and delivered us into the hand of the Midianites. And the LORD turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours, …. Have I not sent you?” With that, I began to weep, and not intentionally, but started writing out a prayer to God. I was, and am, grateful for everything God has done in my life, but the last several weeks have been extremely difficult for changes that are coming up in 5-6 months, disdain from doctors concerning my son’s unexplained suffering, questioning their procedures, and a private situation that keeps happening… I poured out my heart in tears. But then I said, “I don’t understand why. I do feel deserted in this area, but I trust only You, and I will follow You, Lord. I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You.”
I stopped writing and decided to take a chance and listen to the pastor on the app that day. I don’t have to write anything about what the preacher said. It’s below, and once you hear it, you will understand how the Lord corrected me and encouraged me. I especially appreciated in the video where Pastor Palau said, (speaking to God), “You know how my brain works or doesn’t work!”. I can relate to that sentiment! The other miraculous, amazing thing. The name of the pastor was listed on the app… Palau… Hmmm… I looked it up. Sure enough, it was Pastor Luis Palau’s son. How is that jaw-dropping to me? I was a prayer counselor for Pastor Luis at one of his public evangelist events in Redmond in August 2002, five months before I went to Asia!
Miraculously, in finishing that app, there were printed words just to me… “Don’t leave this time.” It wasn’t, don’t leave the Lord, I would never forsake Him. It was a reminder, don’t stop what He called me to do. Be encouraged! When the Angel of the LORD told Gideon he was a mighty warrior, Gideon had not fought a battle yet. He was hiding in fear!
Be like Joshua, be like Deborah, be like Jehoshaphat, be like Gideon. Be encouraged, you mighty man or woman of the Lord! God is with you!
And if the enemy throws a fiery dart at you? Pray – read God’s Word – repeat verses you have memorized – or pick up a hymnal and sing amazing words giving glory to God. Most of the words of the hymns were written down during or after tragic things… It is Well with My Soul.
Go from strength to strength (Psalm 84:5-7)
** I will update regarding the book on the update page: Sailing Waves
** I will share the prayer aid pages in a couple of days
Waves of Gratitude 