Someone in my previous generation prayed for me.

Have you contemplated the same thought? Is it amazing to you how you survived some of life’s obstacles and tragedies? Have you experienced adventures you never would have dreamed of?

Faithful pray from the previous generation is the only way I can explain how I survived coming from a legacy of alcoholism, clinical depression, and poverty. It is only possible through the efficacy of prayer and the grace of God that a little girl, rejected, and thought of as stupid and worthless, decades later, would become a teacher, travel the world alone, have public speaking opportunities, train others in education and trauma, excel in higher studies, and given the blessed prividedge of raising an abandoned special-needs child.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning” (emphasis added, James 1:17).

Only through prayer and the grace and power of God.

I believe I know my prayer warrior… my great-great grandmother, Priscilla.

In 2014, one of my assignments for a psychology class was to discuss my family heritage and the generational effect on me.

Let’s see…. my mom… and my dad… and… finished! I possessed limited knowledge of our history. My grandparents died before I was born. I never knew them. My mother was undescriptive about her father and mother. My father never mentioned his parents… let alone his grandparents.

There were sometimes rumors about having an Indian or Irish heritage, but with no validation.

My professor encouraged me to try one of the many genealogy sites. That assignment inspired my life. I joined a “search your family tree” site, and with hopeful anticipation, typed in the search bar with what diminutive information I knew.

The same astonishing excitement as when my foster child became my son came rippling up inside of me. I shrieked, tears flowing down my face.

I HAVE A HISTORY!!!

Another sojourner who was in search of family truth, next to the line, had already discovered some treasured gold. There, before my eyes… names, a place, a heritage!

Endearingly granted, I know that my real heritage lies in Christ.

“And if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him” (Romans 8:17).

But here on earth, treading the path before me, were my great-great grandparents, William and Priscilla, from… somewhere near Belfast, Ireland! I have searched periodically to find pieces of the puzzle. Only known, they arrived in America in 1866. Where they came from, where they came to, I do not know… but somehow, over time, weaved their way to southern Indiana.

Priscilla bravely survived the Great Irish Famine, boldly endured the coffin ship with three small children, and she would have four more children in America. She somehow extraordinarily overcame rejection and poverty, loss of her homeland, and everything which was once familiar and dear to her. Yet, she miraculously persevered until she was 81.

I had the blessed opportunity to visit the area where the family lived in southern Indiana; I walked the same streets they did, walked past the wool factory the family worked at (now a high school), and visited the church Priscilla was a member of, although this church had burned to the ground three times! My heart rejoiced in discovering the headstone of Priscilla and William. As I sat there and prayed and reflected on their life, I felt God’s presence.

Something happened though… somewhere along the generation, the family forgot about God. It was my eldest sister, though, who convinced my mom to attend a church when I was approximately five years old. I accepted Jesus in my life when I was eight. That decision was the secure foundation that would protect and hold me together through decades of abuse and loss.

I strongly believe that Priscilla’s bold faith in an omniscient God sustained her for her lifetime. I know my faith, wavering occasionally, has taken me on journeys I would never have dreamed of in my younger days of poverty and heartbreak.

If you read through Exodus in the Bible, you will find how God miraculously saved the Israelites and provided for them continually. Yet, they would forget multiple times and complain to God. I can never forget how God not only saved me eternally, but saved my physical life, not once, but three times, if not more, times that I am unaware of. Still, I am not perfect. I have had my inconstant share of doubt.

These are the reasons God says to record what He has done. Write it down! Tell others! Our memories are unnerving!

In Deuteronomy, Moses taught the commandments of God to the people and reminded them, “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (6:7, 9).

Lest you forget.

It is essential to instruct our children on the commands and promises of God, modeling them in our everyday life.

Lest they forget.

It is of paramount importance to record and share the faithful stories of God in our lives.

Lest we forget.

Most significantly, we must fervently pray for our children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews, neighborhood children, and those not even born yet.

My devotion is to continue a beautiful legacy of praying for generations to come.

Father God,

We entrust our children in dedicated prayer to You. This generation, and the generation yet to come.

Save Your children by Your grace.

Draw them closely to You.

Safeguard them.

Illuminate their path.

If they should wander from the chosen path, realign their steps.

If they lean toward sinful choices, convict their hearts.

Help them to be disciplined, persistent, and run the race with endurance.

Help them to live with a grateful heart, rejoicing always.

Help them to love You with all of their heart, soul, and mind, and love others above themselves.

Help them to be pure and holy, as You are holy.

Guide them in Your word, in prayer time with You, listening for the calling that You have for them.

Advance them in kingdom work.

Magnify Your name in them.

Amen

May we all leave a legacy of faithfulness.

Rise, take courage, and do it. (Ezra 4:10)

Where are you hovering right now? What is your typical discontent?

My common unstudied thought in my early thirties was, I wish I would have… but now I am too old.

Someone unexpectedly strengthened me. I went to college in my late thirties and became a teacher.

God inspired me using inspiring speakers. I visited Haiti, Peru, and finally moved to India in my mid-forties.

Awareness of my circumstances curiously counseled me. I went back to school for a degree in psychology in my early fifties.

God has instilled dreams in my heart, above and beyond my imagination, now in the sixth decade of my life. I still have breath, I can still dream.

I am no different from you. I have the same unsteady baggage from the past, insecurities about myself physically and intellectually, financial strain, and the life-infused hardships of daily living.

Sometimes – I still stress eat… sit when I should walk… watch videos when I should read God’s word and pray… yell at my son… buy what I don’t need… you can fill in the blank with your own personal journey.

It’s still January! There is still time to set new goals, to challenge yourself, to do what you have only dreamed of. Honestly… living your dreams doesn’t have to begin in January. Any day is a new day to start all over.

But wait… I don’t know how to do that! I don’t have those skills. I am not sure if God wants me to do that. There is so much going on right now! And the big question? What if I fail? It takes courage to pursue any step.

You may have started and stopped. Tried, and failed. But defeated, never!

Before you move forward on your passion and dream for the world, are you?

• Anxiously waiting for the world crisis to end? It’s not happening. However, you can improve the world by the contribution you make with your time, talent, and dream. There is invariably hope.
• Languishing first for a long-lost relative to leave you loads of loot? Sadly, that probably won’t happen either.
• Are you waiting for the kids to graduate from high school or college?
• Eager for the bills to be paid first?

Counting on??

I know, you believe if God wants you to do something specific, He will send someone to suggest you take a specific path. That has only happened once to me in my life. I thought their suggestion was insane! Turns out, it was what God wanted me to do.

You might think God will unexpectedly send down lightning, powerfully speak to you through a burning bush, or meticulously write the plan on the wall. Some days, I wish the answers were that clear! If any of those things happened, though, I would go hide in a closet! If God spoke in that magnitude, I know that I would have to listen and obey!

God whispers to us quietly. You have heard him speak.

Close your eyes…

Rested by the ocean, a gentle breeze blows and a ripple wave flows across the sand.

Meandering through the woods, a fragrance of pine, a flutter of a butterfly, or a flicker of light silently sprays through the trees.

A stranger walks up to you, expresses a smile and a kind word.

A newscast or Facebook posting causes tears to trickle down your face and something stirs your heart to make a difference

God is speaking to you.

Sometimes, He just uses His word to reach you.

My Sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; (John 10:27).

So then, faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ (Romans 10:17).

Call to me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know (Jeremiah 33:3).

It’s time for you to be brave… arise… take courage… and go for the dream that God put on your heart. You are never too old. Remember 5 d’s moving on:

Discernment – realistic in your eyes but unimaginable in God’s eyes – judge well.

Desire – wishing for a change.

Determination – above and beyond the barriers.

Discipline – work hard for the dream.

Delight – joy in what you are doing.

December is a good time to take a mental holiday.

For many, that is impossible. There are houses to decorate, family dinners to plan, gifts to buy, children’s school vacations to prepare for, church events, yearly letters to write, travel plans to make, and Christmas cards to send. For some, that is all the ingredients with no recipe. For others, it is a well thought out, step-by-step recipe to make a glorious final product, called Christmas. Whichever method you use, it is all chaotic.

This December, I did a mental refocus and tried to take more moments to let my mind rest. To meditate more, ponder more, pray more.

Trust me, there were still many moments of insanity! The chaotic days as a single mom with a special needs child – endless doctor appointments, health issues, fighting for rights with schools and medical care, endless paperwork and phone calls… “Please hold for the next available agent, you are now 20th in line. Your approximate wait time is twelve hours.” Okay, a little melodramatic.

I was also still sending resumes and introduction letters, not-so-patiently praying, waiting for someone to acknowledge the education, experience, and skills of this senior, single parent. Praise God, after three years – a final, perfect match!

There were also my health issues. Twenty-five years of chronic pain, I had managed. This new, sleepless nights, can’t walk-stand-sit, intense pain for the last year, has been a new adventure. The endless blood tests, exams, x-rays. Then changes in doctors because of insurance regulations, incompetent professionals, and several cancellations and reschedules because of life, has been tedious.

Amid all these things, I wanted to refocus my mind. Not to take away from the transcendent celebration of the birth of our Savior with its eternal glorification, but to stop the mind’s battle… my mind’s battle.

Countless pastors have spoken about the battle of the mind and its consequences. Pastor Rick Warren wrote in his chapter The Battle for Your Mind, “It is the battle for your mind, and that battle is vicious. It is intense. It is unrelenting, and it is unfair because Satan never plays fair. And the reason why it is so intense is that your greatest asset is your mind.”

How many times do you let your thoughts take control of your feelings?

Comparison

Worry

Doubt

Confusion

Hate

Fear

Guilt

Discontent

Resentment

Arrogance

Bitterness

Worthlessness

Regret

What about times that you think someone is misjudging you? Criticizing you? We can spend hours, even days, caught up in the four walls of the battle of our minds.

I don’t want to live there anymore!!

There was a sermon by Pastor Louie Giglio and at the end, he felt led by God to speak words of truth to those suffering mentally by cruelty said about them or done to them. His words of wisdom? Let it go!

Simply… let it go.

Painless, yet painful.

For years, I dwelled on the malicious words that my mother spoke to me all of my life. I forgave her because one, clinical depression was genetic on the maternal side, and two, she was retaliating from her own inner pain. I did not want that legacy to continue. Have I altogether forgotten those words? No, but I measure them to their value, which is none. Our true values are not about what someone says about us or thinks of us. Our true value comes from what God thinks about us and says about us.

You cannot change the past. You cannot give back the hurtful words said about you or the harmful things done to you. Sometimes you don’t have the strength to do that – I get it! That is when you give it to God and ask Him to remove those painful memories from you or for Him to show you how to make purpose out of the piercing.

But you can manage your mentality! If you know Christ, focus on Him and how He values you.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast (unwavering), because they trust in Him (God)” (Isaiah 26:3).

” Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4).

“Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me” (Isaiah 49:16b-17).

“For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well” (Psalm 139:13-14).

Tomorrow is a new day, a new year! Impress on your mind, “Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

When the waves of ridicule, rejection, regret, and remorse come crashing into your mind, let it go – for your peace of mind, and ultimately for God’s glory.

Trials

Tragedy

Heartbreak

Death

These sometimes crippling devastations come without warning.

Oceanographers measure waves to monitor oncoming tsunamis. The unanticipated soul serene on the beach is unaware of the powerful wave getting ready to crash into them.

Almost a year ago, the Lord gave me the phrase, “Waves of Gratitude.” I knew precisely what its meaning was personally, however, I could not elegantly express its meaning in words to anyone else. Other than the daily ministry of making Christ’s love known, God wanted me to practice gratitude in all circumstances daily.

I fondly treasure symbols. More than once, I snuggled rocks in between my clothes in my suitcases internationally because I experienced a soul-satisfying moment with the Lord on a distant beach and the perfectly picked-out rock would stand as a stone of remembrance.

The ocean brings me exceeding joy. To me, it represents the greatness of God. Above the ocean for five hours on my first trip to Hawaii, although a little scary, gave tremendous comprehension to “grasp how wide, how long, and how deep is the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:18). I could sit on the beach for hours meditating and talking with God.

Ocean and waves can have a negative characterization. For instance, there are rogue waves,

Freak or killer waves, extreme storm waves, greater than twice the size of surrounding waves and very unpredictable. They often come unexpectedly from directions other than prevailing wind and waves. (Noaa.gov)

Some view waves cascading down upon them, like the trials of life. Waves in the middle of the ocean seem harmless until they surge and gain strength. I want to train myself, and therefore share with you the practice of turning the waves of tragedy into waves of gratitude and praise.

Waves rise to a crest and then fall into a trough.

You have been in the trough before… the wave collided with you. You are on the bottom grasping to hook on to something stable. Guttural cries of pain come from deep within your soul over the loss of a child, cancer, finding out your spouse has cheated or left, financial debt, broken dreams, or being alone.

Why Lord? My son was the kindest child I have ever known! Why did he have to suffer and die?

Why did he leave? Our vows were, “until death do us part.”

Cancer? Me? But who will care for my children?

LORD, I am supposed to provide for our family! How?

Miraculously, the wave rises back up, and the Lord reaches down to you with His hand of comfort… A friend’s phone call… a loving message from someone… a reminder of promises from God’s Word.

Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry and will deliver you. (Isaiah 46:4)

Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God-my God-will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD. (1 Chronicles 28:20)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

Jesus holds you in His healing arms. He takes your hand and lifts you up again. You find strength for another step, another day. You find courage to step out in faith, even without answers, and trust the One who has been with you all along.

Instead of being tossed back and forth by the waves of everyday living, hold on to your anchor in Christ. Let Him guide you.

You are going to be knocked down by waves. This is a broken world, even more so today. It’s up to you, though, to lift your hand above the dark, swirling water that tries to pull you under and instead give praise to our God. I know that you have no strength to lift your hand when the devastation and the losses are great. I understand you get weary… I do too.

In Exodus 17, Moses led the Israelites to defeat the Amalekites. He commanded Joshua to fight the army and supported him, stating “Tomorrow, I will stand at the top of the hill, holding the staff of God in my hand.” Remember the staff, that God had used several times to perform miracles through Moses? “As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantaged (verse 11). But Moses became fatigued… as we do. So what happened next? Moses’s friends found a place for him to sit. One friend held up one hand, one friend held the other (verse 12).

Do you have a non-judgemental friend that will help hold up your hand when you cannot stand any longer? Find one through a church or a Christian mentoring ministry.

Stand in gratitude for the good Christ has done, and the provisions that He has made. Watch what He will do next in your life.

Take the wave that Satan tries to destroy you with and lift it up into waves of gratitude.

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8/NIV).

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us (Ephesians 3:20/NKJV).

But mightier than the violent raging of the seas, mightier than the breakers on the shore – the LORD above is mightier than these! (Psalm 93:4).

“Intense love does not measure, it just gives.” Mother Teresa.

Intense – fervant, passionate, enormous, exceptional.

Most of society observes Mother Teresa as one of the greatest living symbols of unconditional love. We as believers, though, have living proof that there is only one who emulates unconditional love… that is Jesus. Two thousand years ago, Jesus physically walked on earth and people felt His unimaginable agape love. We only experience this love now through the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Agape love, sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience, discomfort, even death for the benefit of another, expecting nothing in return.

A recent article written by a pastor shared about a time when he was dating the woman he would someday marry. He came up with a creative way to express his love by hanging a poster with an enormous heart, expressing his love for her, knowing she would see the sign the next morning through her dorm window. He wrote,

Why did I do that? Because I was hopelessly in love with this girl? Yes, but there’s an even more important reason why I made that drive and nailed that sign up to the tree. You see, I loved Shelley, but I wanted her to know that I loved her without any shadow of a doubt. (Emphasis added – The Power of Perfect Love/L. Giglio)

But wait… what if you have never experienced that deep love where someone would do anything for you to show how much they loved you, whether expressed in a romantic relationship, from a family member, or a friend? Jesus told us what a loyal friend was, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13-15). Jesus laid down His life so that we could live for eternity. As we honored our veterans a few days ago, I remind us that veterans will give their lives for us so that we can have freedom.

No one can fully express unconditional love because it is not humanly possible. But for someone wanting you to know that they loved you “without a shadow of doubt?”

How can you fathom God’s perfect, unconditional love if you have no comprehension of love? What if the love you have received has cost you everything?

Was all the love you received conditional?

Has someone told you they loved you but their actions were the complete opposite?

Did you receive abusive love?

For decades, I could not apprehend the intimate and unconditional love of God. If I received “love” from a person, they based it on how I acted, the way I responded, because of what I did for them, or the frame of mind they were in. Any reaction on my part that differed from what they desired resulted in disgust, distance, ridicule, or abuse. It wasn’t until I began working with special needs children I recognized what desired unconditional love might feel like.

My love for special needs children is boundless. I have years of experience of rejection and belittlement. These children deserve no less than authentic acceptance. My greatest desire is that children who are differently abled, know without a doubt, that I cherish and love them genuinely.

I have seen my son, my little girl – who has been with Jesus since 2017, and countless special needs children, model near-perfect love. Unequivocal trust and love joyfully visible in their actions and responses.

Here is how to experience unconditional love …

• Pray – Go to a quiet place and ask Jesus to reveal to you His perfect, unconditional love. Then, open your eyes and your ears, and receive His love fully, as He sacrificially lavishes His love upon you. Be aware that the love probably will not come through a romantic interest, or a friend or family member extending a generous gift. No, Jesus knows you intimately. “O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away” (Psalm 139:1-2/NLT). Jesus will show His love to you in only a way you can perceive that it was only from Him.
• Search God’s Word – The Bible is abounding with God’s faithful promises and speaks boastfully about how much He loves you.

I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

How precious is your unfailing love, O God! (Psalm 36:7)

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17)

Be grateful, have courage, love others as Christ has loved you.

“Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then,… (emphasis added), (Ephesians 6:13-14/NIV).

But God, I need cement boots to do that!!

Do you ever have those weeks? Days? Minutes?!

I have been sharing, okay, sometimes preaching, on this blog and to a few of my friends how important it is to stand firm, meditate on what God has done in the past, and trust Him for the results. God has been faithful in the past. He will be faithful again… even though His time frame and our time frame are exceedingly different. It’s easy! Until Satan slams you and you get hit by a rogue wave that almost knocks you over! If you wonder what a rogue wave is, it’s large, unexpected, and dangerous. Sometimes you get hit by one once. Other times, it is an accumulation of hits over a week. Mine was the latter.

Why is it still dangerous if there are no injuries? Because your faith suffers during those times, unless you are standing firm in God’s word, His truth, and His promises.

It was not my desire to let so much time lapse before writing another post… most of our lives are not in our control. I am always grateful that God is still in control… always… without waver… faithful.

After a series of hits in a two-week period, one can become exasperated. I have a tendency at that point to avoid everything else. It is easy to curl up on the sofa and read a book, or become stagnate and resort to watching movies or old sitcoms.

Although, right before I get ready to,

Give up…

withdraw…

evacuate…

If I am paying attention, God steps in.

I both love and hate Facebook. My love for it because I can keep in touch with my family and friends overseas, my family in other states, and my friends where I used to live. My hate for Facebook because it has become exactly that – a platform of debate, hate, and criticism, and a residence for people, frustrated, devastated, or confused with their own life, to dissect every sentence or belief and viciously attack the person who made the comment. I am grieved by the division. Despite the ugliness, Facebook also brings up memories of former postings, a year ago and even further back.

Those memories of God’s faithfulness, looking for God’s hand every day, and starting to sing worship to God during the trials helped me through the past two weeks. Amazingly, it helped me to have peace. The circumstances have not changed, but I have courage and strength to keep on fighting and keep taking steps forward.

This past week, it was a blessing to take a trip with a friend to see the Bible Museum in Washington. This was my first trip with a friend in over two years! The girl-time was incredible, but we were both extremely disenchanted over the commercialism of the museum. I had prayed and hoped that there would be moments of time to meditate on a Bible story or a verse that we came across. It wasn’t to be until… God stepped in. Deep in my heart, I was crying out to God for a word, or a moment, or anything! We were about to give up, but while talking, wandered into the display of the history of the Bible. It was inspiring to see how far the Bible had progressed over the centuries, and even to see the Bible written in different languages.

Finished with our path, we observed a woman and young girl talking with a Jewish man who was sitting behind a table. He was writing something and we could see him writing on a card in another language. Extremely inquisitive, we stopped the lady that had walked away. She informed us the man had written their names in Hebrew and shared the meaning. My friend and I looked at each other, our eyes lit up, and we impatiently waited our turn. It was a priceless moment in the day. The conversation between the three of us brought tears to our eyes. God had not let me down. The moment that I had yearned for was not what I expected. God never gives us a little. It is always better than we can imagine.

Tomorrow is Monday. The battle is still there to be fought. My armor is on to stand firm. God showed me something daily and even blessed me with a moment that I had not expected.

This week,

Stand firm.

Worship God during the trial.

Listen to biblical sermons.

Pray and read God’s word daily. (I am still preaching to myself too)!

Remember why… “Yes, LORD, walking in the way of Your laws, we wait for You; Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts” (Isaiah 26:8/NIV).

There is difficulty in writing any book or blog. I struggle with the book that I am writing. My intent is to share the hard times that happened in my life, but keep the focus on God. I want you to know the amazing things God did during those times, and how He used them to help me with future ministry. Not for pity. I want you to know that I have empathy for you.

We are naturally self-centered individuals. It’s who we are because of sin in the world. It’s very easy for us to take our kindness, good deeds, and experiences and share them as a “look at me” posting. That is not my desire.

As I read postings on Facebook, follow news articles, and talk with people that I encounter every day, there are so many heartbreaking stories. Many lost, confused, depressed, not sure where to turn. We make plans, and then plans change. Tossed from one place to another.

It reminds me of the leaves I see outside my window. Some have changed color, some have just turned brown. As they fall from the tree, there is no specific destination. They inconstantly float around until they hit the ground. But they don’t stay in the same spot. A brief gust of wind and they are off somewhere else. Many people are in a whirlwind right now. A gust of wind, a storm, a tremendous wave crashing down on them.

Frantic… scared… exhausted… in abusive situations… uncertain about the future… worried about their loved ones. Some are jobless, homeless, and hopeless.

Many of the stories I read or hear, though, are relatable things that have happened in my life. I want to share the blessings and growth that I have learned from my trials and strength I have gained through God’s word and interventions. If I can share the hope and healing I have found with only one person, it will be worth all the hard work of writing, and what I believe God has called me to.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us (emphasis added)” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4/NLT).

“He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted… (Isaiah 61:1b/NLT). God has healed me through the trials, tragedies, and heartbreaks to reach out to others who are hurting.

It took years before I could look back on my life and understand how God used all of those atrocities to make me the person I am today. I drew closer to Jesus, and He strengthened me to help others. Keep in mind, we have the freedom to make our own choices. Decisions we have made that God’s hand has not filtered (prayed over) will have consequences. Any of those preferences could have devastating results lasting a lifetime.

Having the experience of seeing God use those struggles for a purpose and for His glory doesn’t make the current heartbreaks easier, but knowing that He has been faithful before, I am assured that He will be faithful again, and will help or hold my hand until it passes – either on earth or in eternity.

Philip Yancey said, “Faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”

I heard an applicable sermon yesterday. Pastor Louie Giglio at Passion City Church preached. “Defiant Worship in the Midnight Hour”. (2) Defiant Worship in the Midnight Hour – Louie Giglio – YouTube I pray every day, throughout the day, but I wouldn’t consider myself a prayer warrior – I strive to be a prayer warrior. I have learned in the middle of an incident that is distressing to thank God and ask Him what He wants me to learn from this situation, and of course, for His help. I sing worship songs, but I cannot remember a time when something agonizing happened that I stopped in the middle of it and sang praise and worship to God! An amazing aspiration to aim for! I pray the message will encourage you as it did me.

Remember, the next time the waves come crashing down on you, look up, pray with all of your heart, and sing praise to the King!

The Lord on high is mightier
Than the noise of many waters,
Than the mighty waves of the sea (Psalm 93:4/NKJV).

I am not a victim.

Previously, yes. I was a victim of abuse, rejection, and ridicule…years, even decades.

Over time, with experiences that God allowed, and lessons I learned through studying His word, I know it wasn’t about me.

Do you consider Abel in the Bible a victim? No. He was just an innocent bystander of Cain’s anger against God (Genesis 4:1-12).

Everyone remembers Joseph’s story.

Pit bound…

Slave…

Unjustifiably accused …

Forgotten…

Here, Joseph wasn’t a victim. God allowed those things to happen for a purpose, an eternal purpose. Was it fair? No. Did Joseph feel betrayed and rejected by God? Read the story for the first time or again and decide for yourself. (Genesis 37:12-36, 39:1-23)

While you are going through abuse, suffering, or even ridicule, it can be devastating. Most likely, you feel as if you did something wrong. You feel alienated. You may feel,

Rejected or forgotten by God…

Betrayed by your husband, sister, friend, neighbor…

Ashamed, unworthy, depressed, useless…

You may feel like a scapegoat, first with questions, then believing what Satan is whispering to you.

What did I do to cause this to happen?

Why does he hate me?

Why is she gossiping about me?

Satan replays those questions and others in your mind until you feel hopeless, alone, and unloved.

The word victim wraps itself around a person like an enormous spiderweb. One that you did not see. You don’t want it on you. You fight to get it off. But still, it encompasses you. Victim makes a person look at themselves differently in a mirror. Victim makes a person think negatively about their capabilities. Victim makes the person’s relationship with God constrained and not trustworthy.

As a child, teenager, and adult I had been sexually abused. I felt for years that it was something I did to cause this. My mother confirmed those feelings by not believing me as a child, and then reminding me invariably that I would never succeed or accomplish anything. “White trash” is a term she treasured.

I have learned from Bible studies, from my studies in psychology, and from working with those in human trafficking, that it is not about anything that I did wrong, it was about the evil that was done against me, as it was with Joseph, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive” (Genesis 50:20/NKJV). Did I save people’s lives? No. Did I encourage rescued women and women working in the brothels that I understood some of what they had been through? To let them know there was hope and healing to be found? Yes.

I have not meant to make light of the horrific tragedies in our world – 911, genocide, Katrina, COVID-19, Afghanistan, Haiti, and so many more. Pure Evil.

I am speaking more personally to you.

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? When you think about your abilities, skills, gifts, are they without borders or limited to a small broken box?

“Until we care more about what God thinks than what other people think we are never truly free.” Christine Caine

Focus on what God thinks about you and reminds you of…

Nothing can separate you from the love of God. – Romans 8:38

You are accepted not rejected. – Isaiah 43:1

You are never truly alone. – Joshua 1:9

You never have to be afraid. – 2 Timothy 1:7

You are special to God. – Psalm 139:14

I am a visual person. I have reminder verses, quotes, and writings all over my house. When doubts surface or Satan whispers, I remind myself to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:11), and:

1. Focus on Jesus
2. Be inspired by God’s Word
3. Walk in Faith
4. Run with Endurance
5. Pray – Wait – Trust

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13/NKJV).

Be encouraged. Be grateful. You are living proof that you are stronger than you believe. Now, go do something amazing…for the glory of God!

“Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trust in Him! (Psalm 34:8).

I believe that special needs children have a special connection with God. While I was in Asia I had several foster children. All boys except one precious angel. She was physically and cognitively delayed and couldn’t speak. She had a smile though that would illuminate a room.

Every night I would tuck her in bed and sing to her, “Jesus Loves Me.” Every night, her gaze would go past my face and look straight up. The joy in her smile was enlightening.

One of my foster boys had been abandoned. God allowed me the privilege and blessing of adopting him and calling him my own. Josh is also a special needs child. He is non-verbal, low-functioning, autistic, with high sensory issues. All those identifications are important.

This week Josh had eye surgery. His pupils would move all over the place, like a hummingbird around a feeder…just not that quickly. The second specialist who had seen him twice informed me that the condition was getting worse. I was not apprehensive about the surgery – they had completed the surgery hundreds of times. I was nervous about the recovery. A child cognitively two to four years old does not understand pain. The recovery was supposed to be difficult, at least the first week.

The first day was extremely difficult. Trying to keep my son’s hands out of his eyes, severe pain, even after pain medication. And, as has happened many times before, there was no phone signal to call a doctor for advice. All I could do was pray and try to comfort him. I had people around the globe praying for him even before the surgery.

Josh finally fell asleep and slept like a baby snuggling to his mother. Perfect peace all night. In the morning, another miracle…there seemed to be no pain. Each day amazing improvement. Answered prayer.

The doctor on the follow-up visit today was happy and I believe a little surprised. I was not surprised. I have seen God do many more miraculous things than just a touch of His hand on a child’s eyes.

The amazing thing for me? Taking my son walking on day two and day three and day four. Watching him look at the world in a whole new light. Even though tired and a little weak, he wanted to keep walking and keep looking. He would smile, laugh, or stop me and hug me and give me a kiss! Simply joy for him and gratefulness to God from me.

Some days, many days these days, we don’t need a new set of eyes, or need to have our eyes surgically straightened. We need to straighten our focus. We are looking at a world so torn right now, when right in front of us, every day, are simple things full of beauty. We need to look at people and our world through the eyes of Jesus, with love, patience, and understanding. We need to look at all things created, and focus on the Creator.

Thank you, God, for your protective care and healing of Josh’s eyes. Thank you, Josh, for helping me focus more on Jesus this week. Find out for yourself that the LORD is good.

When things keep going wrong repeatedly it is easy to lose heart and become weary. I am not perfect but have always held on to two verses from the psalm that I consider my life psalm.

“I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD” Psalm 27:13-14/NKJV

The last couple of months have been insane. First, I was having difficulty setting up the blog and, well, that is a story for another time. Secondly, my son was having severe stomach pain. We ran back and forth to the doctors and other specialists to find that the pain could be his GI system, or the unexpected news that J has kidney disease and that his one working kidney is only functioning at 35%. Next? We both came down with COVID. Mine was a light case, except it really zapped my energy…still. J had a more severe case. After so many other things that have happened since we returned to the U.S. in October of 2018, it would have been very easy to hibernate…shut down…give up…and worst of all, believe that God did not care about us.

I read a quote from Joni Eareckson Tada. A mentor had said to her right after her accident that left her a quadriplegic, “God permits what He hates, to accomplish what He loves.” That sounds like a harsh statement, but after I thought about all the tragic things that have happened in my life, I have been blessed to see those painful circumstances make me the person I am today. I have been able to help others through their trauma because of my experiences. In the process, God has been glorified because He has either rescued me or changed my character through the circumstance.

I became determined to find the good things in every day. Some days we have to look a little deeper!

Some blessings come from an unexpected place. Someone that you don’t even know says something or does something. Those are the best, because you know the stranger was sent by God! Example: The other week I took J to Target. It takes a little creative planning to keep his hands on the cart and get across the parking lot. I am always keeping an eye on him, the cart, where the car is, and checking out my surroundings for safety and to make sure moving cars are stopping for us. It’s sad that these days we have to know our surroundings for safety. Because of J’s disability and I am alone, we would be considered an easy prey.

So on this day as I finally got J to the car, helped in the back seat, and got his seat belt on before putting the groceries in the car, a couple walked by us.

The man said, “You are doing a great job maam!”

“Thank you. He is a blessing to me! I replied.

My eyes welled up with tears. God knew I was weary and needed that little nudge.

Other times, a neighbor has helped me with something, or I have been outside in the swing being refreshed and enjoying the beauty that surrounded me.

I encourage you. Buy a little notebook at the dollar store. At the end of the day take a few moments to think about the day. I know you will find something beautiful. You must keep your eyes and ears open though! You also must write it down because when you are having a bad day you can look back on the previous days.